By all accounts, Carrie was a “mothering” person. It was her make-up. A friend of Carrie’s, no – more like one of Carrie’s people she “adopted” said, “No one was more devoted to her family than she was. She was the first in line. If things got dark and ugly, she was there always.”
We all have pictures in our mind of what a perfect mom looks like – and by no means are we suggesting Carrie was that. But we are suggesting that Carrie was a mother who was present in her children’s lives. She created traditions from which they now draw from. She, by their own admission, fussed at them when they were wrong. She encouraged them when they were down or had monumental tasks in front of them. Carrie was a mom who created hundreds of memories for her children to remember her by. We know from her son-in-law Reuben that she was selfless at most every turn. She gave up her work and a lot of her life to care for him as he battled leukemia.
And yet, with all this love she gave, one of the recipients and beneficiaries of her love struck out at her and killed her. The pounding and unanswered question is always “why.” Why did it happen to her, a good and wonderful person? Why did he snap, or did he? Why did it come to this? The questions that may never be fully answered. And we are sure that whatever answers are given will only lead to more questions.
Speaking with her family one thing is clear: Carrie put others first. She gave of herself, of her home and of her time. Even after her daughter sought out other arrangements, Carrie continued to offer Robert Shane Lucas a place in her home. Even as he allegedly went down the path of substance abuse, he still had a place to call home.
We have all faced down a dark moment– some darker than others– but we think it is safe to say that everyone has had that moment where we needed support and a place to go. Carrie seemed the type to always have that door open. She believed that a little bit of love would go a long way to help. Perhaps she thought of her love as a type of healing for someone.
But it seems that open door and that freely given love let in someone whose demons proved too great.
Does this teach us to close the door against others? Does this stand as a warning against offering help or sanctuary? We hope not. Carrie’s lesson should be one of love. Yes, bad things happen to good people. But her legacy is her life – invite in the hungry, offer comfort to the sick, give encouragement to the downtrodden, teach your children the value of giving and do all things for the good of others. We all want to leave our mark on the community we live in and Carrie Brewer did exactly that.
To Carrie’s family, we mourn alongside you. We are so incredibly sorry for your loss. You are in our prayers.